orthodoxgladness:

Do not be curious about anything that does not concern your salvation, keep your eyes and hearing from all that is harmful.- St. Theophan the Recluse

If I could blot out all that I have seen and heard. If I could unlearn all that I have learned. How clear would be my perception? How honest would be my thoughts? But this is an impossibility.

So I am left with memories from which I cannot hide. Thoughts of which there is no escape. Dreams that turn into rabid nightmares. Yet even here, in this spot, God does not abandon me.