sanctorum-communio:

“It has sometimes been said that the real problem in prayer is not the absence of God but the absence of us.”

— Rowan Williams, Being Disciples

If we spoke to a loved one the way that we speak to God, I would suspect that person would get up and leave. Mouthed words that speak one thing yet the intention is surely another. Asking them for every desire that comes to mind – some less selfish, some more. Demanding that they act now – even if the request will destroy us. Forgetting that the person is even there. Not caring that the person is there. Craving another loved one while this one we called so precious just watches us – abandoned.

This is what I have done to God. I have treated Him like a second class citizen. Sometimes like an albatross. Sometimes like a worthless rag. And in the midst of these horrible actions He still spoke. He still called my name. He still whispered: I’m here.

God, please let me love like that.

Please let me die like that.