orthodoxgladness:

At first I drank grief with buckets, then God gave me grace with a spoon. – Elder Joseph the Hesychast

Until I can truly see myself as I really am, I am self-deceived. I belive I am something that I am not. Unless I can see my actions as they have really been, I suffer from vanity. Believing that I am virtuous when I am not.

But when that time comes when I can no longer hide from myself. Justify myself. Cover myself. Then I can see clearly. Then all is shown in the light. And I can admit my failures. My sins. And grieve over all I have done to hurt those around me. And God.

The more honest I am the more cleansing God gives. And then, by His great grace, He begins to heal.