philosophybits:

“Drunkenness is temporary suicide: the happiness that it brings is merely negative, a momentary cessation of unhappiness.”

— Bertrand Russell, The Conquest of Happiness

I have hidden so much pain in the socially acceptable glass of wine. Or bourbon on ice. One led to two. And two to three. And sometimes three to four.

I hid under water as I thought, ruminated, regretted, cried. I yearned for both a way out of alcohol and, simultaneously, a way out of my prison.

I could not remove the drunkenness. But God in His mercy began to remove the pain. And, slowly, the alcohol was no longer needed.