There is nothing on earth that I need, except that which is most essential. What do I need, what is most essential? I need the Lord, I need His grace, His kingdom within me. On earth, which is the place of my wanderings, my temporary being, there is nothing that is truly mine, everything belongs to God and is temporal, everything serves my needs temporarily.
– Excerpts from the Spiritual Diary of St. John of Kronstadt, “My Life in Christ”
I savored everything. The smells. The tastes. The control. The sensuality. Each one I sampled. I consumed. I devoured.
And nothing. A mirage. As quickly as I enveloped them they were gone. Fog through my fingers.
And I couldn’t stop my crying. My screaming. Why my life was worthless. Putrid. Forgotten.
There is nothing of peace in this life for a soul that pants for eternity. Everything leaves me in the grave of my own creation.
You ask just for a glance. A brief gaze. The raising of my eyes.
Toward Your cross.